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“Marcus Wiley's Lawyer Wants You to Know He Didn't Harass His Employees”
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Smashes of This Headline

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NASA Scientist Wants You to Know He's a "Monster"
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Danny Trejo Wants You to Know About the Elderly People He Endangered
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This Writer Wants You to Gain Weight
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NASA Scientist Wants You to Buy Hideous Merchandise
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Jaron Lanier Wants You to Read Interspecies Erotica
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NBA Star Wants You to Drink It. Now. Faster
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When a Boy Really, Really Wants You to Procrastinate
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Britney Spears Wants You to Try and Melt Into the Woods
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Britney Spears Wants You to Be Robocop
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John F. Kennedy's Ghost Wants You to Turn Down an Award for Its Skyrim Voice Cast
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Presumably, Someone in S.F. Wants You to Do Him a Favor
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City Pays $1 Million to Sexually Harass His Employees
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NASA Scientist Wants You to Eat Kids Gets 20 Years
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Marcus Wiley's Lawyer Wants You to Get Rich Off of Darth Vader Selfies
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How Lindsay Lohan Just Wants You to Sleep
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John F. Kennedy's Ghost Wants You to Kill Time
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Bruce Springsteen Wants You to See How He Rolls ... With Mom
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Aaahhh, Don't Do a Mobile App Wants You to Finally End Brunch-Based Sexual Confusion
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Marcus Wiley's Lawyer Wants You to Use a Soda Can for a Date
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Fifty Shades of Grey Wine Wants You to Use It?
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The Senator Who Wants You to Cover Obama Libyan Security Failures
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These Aliens Really Want You to Know About Judge Dredd
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Being a Mormon, I Know He Didn't Harass His Employees
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Dozens Killed in Shooting at Texas Home of NFL Draft Because He Didn't Harass His Employees
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[Republicans] Know He Didn't Have A teleprompter
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These Guys in Speedos Really Want You to Know When Bigotry Became Unconstitutional. Wait, What?
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Microsoft Would Like You to Know Which Part of a Song
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Facebook Won't Remove Mastectomy Photos...Unless It Feels Like She Just Wants You to Buy Hideous Merchandise
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NASA Scientist Wants You to Buy All of World Population
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Bruce Springsteen Wants You to Join Shepard in Next Few Weeks
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Marcus Wiley's Lawyer Wants You to Call Cops Who Should Get Their Own Show?
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Courtney Stodden Wants You to Click on It
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John F. Kennedy's Ghost Wants You to Know About the Future of January