Real Headline from Jezebel Jezebel
“Ninja Cat Will Protect You From Dangerous, Inanimate Stuffed Animals”
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Smashes of This Headline

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The 16 Most Alarming Dating Site Profiles Possible Ninja Cat Will Kill It
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I Wouldn't Have Saved You From Dangerous, Inanimate Stuffed Animals
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Ninja Cat Will Protect You From a Ridiculous Angle
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Ninja Cat Will Paint the World for All the Hellish Training
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Ninja Cat Will Protect You From a Rwandan Dump to the Fullest
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Ninja Cat Will Love People
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Ninja Cat Will Protect You From Getting Medical Care Bears