Real Headline from Jezebel Jezebel
“​You Will Soon Be Able to (Drunk) Text 911”
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Smashes of This Headline

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​You Will Soon Contain Weed Vaporizers
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Would You Be Able to Capture All This Money. All. Of. It.
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Americans Will Be Able to Vote Online by 2020
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5 Crazy Birth Stories That May Soon Have Passport, Be Able to Live With Schizophrenia
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​You Will Soon Be Replaced With Robot Warriors
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What You'll Finally Be Able to Look Out for Six Straight Hours Today, Apparently