ahktenzero

Saved Headlines
358
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Senate Rejects Bid to Kill Me
302
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It's Time for War, and Also Bees
278
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This Guy Walks Around My College With This Fucking Pencil
258
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Sheriff's Deputy Secretly Pepper Sprayed Teen's Pizza, Made Him Immortal
252
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Matt Damon Has a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence
227
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Cap'n Crunch Forced to Convert to Mormonism
205
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UPDATED: Ozzy Osbourne Is Rapidly Dissolving
199
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15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You're an Asshole
190
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41,000,006 Reasons Why Santa Is Sexy
188
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Us Government Made Up Solely of Old, Straight, White Men
178
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28 Day Wait Now Required Just to Invade Earth?
174
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Unicorn Lair Discovered in Antarctica
169
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Under Obamacare, Disney World Builds a Screaming Walk-In Vagina
141
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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested for Carrying Archie Comics
140
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Drunk Man Gets Divorced From His Face
140
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Canada Had a Mexican Accent for 4 Months
139
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I Hate My Boobs and My Husband
130
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Here's the Racist Band That Only Sings About Pizza
111
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Keep Your Guinea Pig Protected With a GRENADE
106
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Dog Forced to Sign People Up For ObamaCare
101
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Dog Forced to Apologize Like a Chicken
97
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NSA Officers Spy on Octopus Lovin
89
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Please Stop Telling Us When to Get You Killed
85
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It Takes Ikea Five Years to Design a Cool-Ass Alien Spaceship?
85
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Rich People to Appear Constantly Drunk for Two years
81
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Orphaned Tiger Cubs Find a Bra That Fits
78
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Bodyguard Chokes Anthony Kiedis After Mistaking Him for Matt Damon: "Close Enough"
77
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Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Children, and I Fell for It...
72
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Pope John Paul II and John Havlicek, Shirtless and Wearing Sombreros
71
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"Impure Thoughts" Got This Terrific Tree Hugger Fired
68
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Human Head Transplants? Neurosurgeon Says "We Have Very Little Tolerance" for Them
67
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I Think This Girl Traveled Over 7,000 Miles to Tell Martha Stewart Her Food Tweets Are Disgusting
64
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Thor: The Dark Misunderstanding
60
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Man Sued for Performing Unneeded Sex-Assignment Surgery on Baby Moose
57
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A Drunk Guy Slept on Our Children?
54
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How to Wear Condoms Like Filthy Sailors
53
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GOP Misplaces Their Binders Full of Crackheads
42
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25 Clever Halloween Costumes for Men Avoiding Chores
41
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The Perks of Being The Unabomber
40
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Jimmy Fallon Dressed Like a Douche [Pic]