ahktenzero

Saved Headlines
362
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Senate Rejects Bid to Kill Me
310
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It's Time for War, and Also Bees
299
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Why I Do Not Want to Wear Pants
289
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2.8 Million People Are Actually Huge Assholes
282
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This Guy Walks Around My College With This Fucking Pencil
263
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Sheriff's Deputy Secretly Pepper Sprayed Teen's Pizza, Made Him Immortal
257
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Matt Damon Has a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence
229
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Cap'n Crunch Forced to Convert to Mormonism
208
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UPDATED: Ozzy Osbourne Is Rapidly Dissolving
203
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15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You're an Asshole
194
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41,000,006 Reasons Why Santa Is Sexy
191
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Us Government Made Up Solely of Old, Straight, White Men
186
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Climate Change Will Be HELLA FUN!
182
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Unicorn Lair Discovered in Antarctica
180
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28 Day Wait Now Required Just to Invade Earth?
173
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Under Obamacare, Disney World Builds a Screaming Walk-In Vagina
143
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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested for Carrying Archie Comics
143
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I Hate My Boobs and My Husband
142
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Drunk Man Gets Divorced From His Face
142
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Canada Had a Mexican Accent for 4 Months
132
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Here's the Racist Band That Only Sings About Pizza
118
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23 Signs You Can't Distinguish Your Pastor From an F-18
113
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It's Time to Make Edible Cat Litter
113
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Keep Your Guinea Pig Protected With a GRENADE
109
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Dog Forced to Sign People Up For ObamaCare
103
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Dog Forced to Apologize Like a Chicken
99
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NSA Officers Spy on Octopus Lovin
93
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Billionaires in the Sewers?
92
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Please Stop Telling Us When to Get You Killed
89
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Ellen Demonstrates the Proper Way to Deflect Killer Asteroids
88
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Rich People to Appear Constantly Drunk for Two years
87
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It Takes Ikea Five Years to Design a Cool-Ass Alien Spaceship?
82
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Orphaned Tiger Cubs Find a Bra That Fits
81
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Van Helsing: Slightly Better Than Having a 4-Hour-Long Painful Boner
80
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CNN Conducts 12 Minute Interview With a Missile
79
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Bodyguard Chokes Anthony Kiedis After Mistaking Him for Matt Damon: "Close Enough"
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Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Children, and I Fell for It...
73
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Pope John Paul II and John Havlicek, Shirtless and Wearing Sombreros
72
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"Impure Thoughts" Got This Terrific Tree Hugger Fired
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Human Head Transplants? Neurosurgeon Says "We Have Very Little Tolerance" for Them