ahktenzero

Saved Headlines
359
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Senate Rejects Bid to Kill Me
305
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It's Time for War, and Also Bees
279
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This Guy Walks Around My College With This Fucking Pencil
260
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Sheriff's Deputy Secretly Pepper Sprayed Teen's Pizza, Made Him Immortal
252
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Matt Damon Has a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence
227
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Cap'n Crunch Forced to Convert to Mormonism
206
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UPDATED: Ozzy Osbourne Is Rapidly Dissolving
199
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15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You're an Asshole
191
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41,000,006 Reasons Why Santa Is Sexy
188
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Us Government Made Up Solely of Old, Straight, White Men
184
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Climate Change Will Be HELLA FUN!
178
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28 Day Wait Now Required Just to Invade Earth?
177
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Unicorn Lair Discovered in Antarctica
170
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Under Obamacare, Disney World Builds a Screaming Walk-In Vagina
141
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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested for Carrying Archie Comics
140
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Drunk Man Gets Divorced From His Face
140
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Canada Had a Mexican Accent for 4 Months
140
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I Hate My Boobs and My Husband
131
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Here's the Racist Band That Only Sings About Pizza
116
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23 Signs You Can't Distinguish Your Pastor From an F-18
111
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Keep Your Guinea Pig Protected With a GRENADE
107
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Dog Forced to Sign People Up For ObamaCare
101
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Dog Forced to Apologize Like a Chicken
97
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NSA Officers Spy on Octopus Lovin
90
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Please Stop Telling Us When to Get You Killed
87
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Ellen Demonstrates the Proper Way to Deflect Killer Asteroids
86
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Rich People to Appear Constantly Drunk for Two years
85
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It Takes Ikea Five Years to Design a Cool-Ass Alien Spaceship?
81
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Orphaned Tiger Cubs Find a Bra That Fits
80
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Van Helsing: Slightly Better Than Having a 4-Hour-Long Painful Boner
78
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Bodyguard Chokes Anthony Kiedis After Mistaking Him for Matt Damon: "Close Enough"
78
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Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Children, and I Fell for It...
72
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Pope John Paul II and John Havlicek, Shirtless and Wearing Sombreros
71
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"Impure Thoughts" Got This Terrific Tree Hugger Fired
69
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Human Head Transplants? Neurosurgeon Says "We Have Very Little Tolerance" for Them
68
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I Think This Girl Traveled Over 7,000 Miles to Tell Martha Stewart Her Food Tweets Are Disgusting
64
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Thor: The Dark Misunderstanding
60
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Man Sued for Performing Unneeded Sex-Assignment Surgery on Baby Moose
58
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A Drunk Guy Slept on Our Children?
54
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How to Wear Condoms Like Filthy Sailors