notemily

Voted Headlines
7
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Mark Wahlberg Is No Longer Being Considered for Secretary of State: Report Claims
359
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Obama Knew About Vampires
413
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For $2, You Can Stop Crying
521
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America Is Held Together by Scotch Tape
388
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Whatever Dude, Just Take a Nap
171
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President for Sale at $5 a Month
66
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Obama Crushed Our Dreams of a Dawson's Creek Reunion
143
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Interview With a Spoon
357
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Puberty Must Have Consequences, "Perhaps Loss of Citizenship or Year in Jail"
401
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Death Toll Rises to $18.67
110
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18 Things That Haven't Happened Yet
368
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People Are Still Tasty
454
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Time to Get Off This Planet
326
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Woman, Mauled by Bear, Calls 911: I'm Bleeding, and I'm Not Apologising
50
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11 Signs You Might Have the Magic of Socks
7
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Why You Don't Want Your Own Sex Robot Bricklayer
9
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Seagull Chooses the Exact Wrong Moment to Read This
4
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Lady Gaga to Star in That €™s So Raven Spin-Off
282
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Do Yourself a Favor and Go Away
68
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Kittens Waiting in Line for Obama Program
529
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Pro Tip: Never Do That
227
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18 Things That Didn't Exist Anyway
166
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Winter Is Not Amusing, Human
104
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Toddler Suffering From Bugs and Glitches
149
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I Am a Simple Bucket
2
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Tired of All the Feels
123
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Scientists Confirm That Sex Really Does Grow on Trees
211
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Brain Implant Restores Sense of Shame
9
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Why Are Politicians So Obsessed With This Duck
200
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No, Hillary Clinton Wins
208
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Man Shot Dead on Way to Do Evil
2
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Huge Godzilla Straw Statue Built on Lies
2
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WATCH That First on DVD: "Cat People" and a Spoon
6
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Now You Are Drunk
460
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Teens to Trump: Leave the Planet
120
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Children Unite to Call It Quits
2
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The Conservative Intellectual Crisis of Depression, Parenting, And...Cat Pee
256
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In Finland We Are Bonded by Satan
216
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Trump May Have Been Caused by Error
8
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God Damn It, I Just Want Someone to Have a Perfect Burger