prytonis

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At Least Two People Are Jerks

prytonis

At least.

Maybe I Will Never Die!

prytonis

Maybe, but probably not.

Disney Shuts Down Following Viral Rat Video Shows

prytonis

Mickey's a mouse not a rat.

Baby Cthulhu Sculpture Will Drive You Crazy

prytonis

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Dodgeball With a Knife

prytonis

If you can dodge a knife you can dodge a ball.

Man Mysteriously Dies After Jumping From Overpass Onto I-80, Being Hit BY Space Debris

prytonis

That's not much of a mystery.

I'm Here! I'm Here! I'm Here! I'm Here! I'm Here!

prytonis

Where are you?

Entire West Virginia House Votes to Remove Loot Boxes

prytonis

It's about time.

I Don't Care About Ultimate Frisbee

prytonis

You and me both.

Scientists Just Found Some Witches

prytonis

Did she weigh the same as a duck?

Which "Harry Potter" Crossover Meme Will Give Superman's Dog His Own Wine Bars

prytonis

This would make a great movie.

Shark Week: A Brief History of White Power

prytonis

Shouldn't that be great white power?

New Species of Extinct Ape Discovered in Ancient Chinese Noblewoman

prytonis

Those are the same headline!

This Might Help You Lose Faith In Humanity

prytonis

Too late.

Republicans Once Ran on Cocaine and Roller Skates

prytonis

The '70s were a strange decade.

The Cake Is Our Prediction?

prytonis

The cake is a lie.

Putin Warns of Russian Government as Corrupt

prytonis

Well, he would know.

Texas Educators Training to Shoot Journalists as a Political Statement

prytonis

Don't mess with Texas.

Star Wars Episode VII Poster Should Be Confirmed as Secretary of Veterans Affairs Nominee

prytonis

This explains a lot about the problems with the VA.

Alternatives to Popular TV Shows

prytonis

For the Hipster Network.

How to Keep the Kids Away From the Princess Bride

prytonis

Inconceivable!

Yankees 10, Red Sox to End (Universal Basic Income)

prytonis

Baseball has some strange rules.

There's Nothing Scarier Than the Old Ones

prytonis

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Does Hell Exist? And Did the Pigeon Cross the Street?

prytonis

Two equally important questions.

Please Comment Slowly, I Have a Worm

prytonis

Slowly, I Have a Worm

Man Says Prayer Before Breaking Into NYC Store, Police Say No One Is Stopping Him

prytonis

The prayer worked!

Man Sobs Uncontrollably After Unwrapping Large Box in Desert

prytonis

What's in the Box?

Food Preserving Chemicals Linked to Another Cold Case Keenum

prytonis

So that's why the Vikings lost.

Student Battling Cancer Patient

prytonis

My money's on the student.

Hodor Is a Jerk

prytonis

Hodor?