cyris

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Hot Dog Star Trek

cyris

Boldly going where no frankfurter has gone before!

Did You Know Vampire Squid Are Actually the Worst Part of the Future

cyris

Splatoon?

Doctor Diagnoses Female Patient With a Bad temper

cyris

Somebody get her to the burn ward!

Which Celebrity Should Be Eating Right Now?

cyris

The underweight ones, obviously.

Trump: I Will Laugh My Ass Off

cyris

And he laughed all the way to the White House.

Facebook Says 40 Million People Are Really Peeved About This Topic?

cyris

You mean the election results?

Heart Attacks Are Linked to Increase Risk of Heart Attacks

cyris

Amazing correlation!

Car Crashes Into New Jersey

cyris

In other news: New Jersey just got an improvement.

Gary Johnson Wins

cyris

This would not be a very bad outcome.

Dude, You Just a Poem

cyris

I accidentally a poem.

Donald Trump Was Talking About Octopuses

cyris

Grab her by the octopussy!

Homeless Man Hailed as a Food

cyris

We should turn homeless people into a food source!

It's So Wrong It's Right Wing

cyris

Wow. Just wow.

Stolen Van Gogh Paintings Found in Train Station, One Explodes

cyris

That exploding Van Gogh must have left quite an impression all over the station!

I Tried Anal

cyris

It was a pain in the ass.

Satan Has Finally Changed His Wardrobe

cyris

Does the devil wear prada now?

Miley Cyrus: My First Relationship Was With a Brain Tumor

cyris

This explains so much.

Gore Warns Millennials Not to Be Defective

cyris

Too late for that.

Exclusive Interview With a Low-Quality Meme

cyris

GRAND DAD!?

You Will Not Appear in Tekken 7

cyris

This is literally true.

Guy Barely Survives After Jump Off Bed

cyris

10-story bunkbeds maybe aren't the best idea.

Clark Kent Was Right That Obamacare Needs Improvement - but Don't Fret Yet About Flights Being Cancelled

cyris

Why would Clark Kent be worried about air travel? He doesn't even need plane rides!

France Will Ban Developers Who Inflate Review Scores

cyris

I wouldn't be against this actually happening.

Captain Kirk Has a Gorgeous, Sexy Girlfriend

cyris

Isn't that like, every other episode?

Hillary's "nurse" Is Actually an ANACONDA

cyris

What a twist!

People Are Tweeting Awful Things About Crash Bandicoot

cyris

People are tweeting awful things in general.

Newswire: Pokémon Go Will Help Keep the Imperial Scum Out!

cyris

I choose you, Pikachewbacca!

Hillary Clinton Explains Why Pokemom Sun/Moon Will Be Different

cyris

One of your PC storage boxes will be named "Basket Of Deplorables".

Ex-Convict Becomes Best Friends With a Dagger

cyris

Is that a euphemism?

Where Are All My Clothes

cyris

Clothes? Where we're going, we don't need clothes!

Kids Taste Test Australian Snack Foods

cyris

Not the vegemite!

Florida Woman Accidentally Shot in Face With Cake

cyris

So that's where my Batter Blaster went!

The Joys of Having "No Intelligence"

cyris

Flowers For Algernon?

Nike Is Patenting a Machine Gun Because Why Not?

cyris

JUST SHOOT IT!

Proof That Gamers Are Now Cooking Meth

cyris

Gaming Bad?

Facebook Will Soon Let You Down

cyris

Isn't this what they usually do? Don't stop now.

Democrats May Have Forgotten You Exist...

cyris

I'm a white guy. I'm used to it by now.

You Were Made in Reverse

cyris

edaM ereW uoY

How the Girl Scouts Are Fighting Demons

cyris

Is this the synopsis for a new anime?

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue. I'm Not Joking

cyris

You are the worst poet ever.