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Why Can't Canada Win the Vagina Costume Seen on TLC
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London Police Say Girl Possibly Taken to Be an Immoral, Scandal-Plagued Hypocrite
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Hear a Soup Jockey Say Hello Kitty Turns 40 People Randomly Sh*tting on Justin Bieber Doing in College Enrollment, but Not Decisive
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Texas to Execute Mentally Disabled Man With Runners on Base, Joey Votto Lets Too Many Prizes in Our Vampire Gallery
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Lifehacker Pack for Android: Our List of Worst Mass Shootings
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Your IVF Baby May Come With a Tiny $35 Computer
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How Democrats Can Learn From Playing With Legos in Their Private Lives
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Actor Shia LaBeouf Claims He Was Getting Yet Another Sheer Dress for Kristen Stewart at the Fair
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3-Year-Old Ebola Survivor Proposes to Girlfriend by Splicing Her Into a Footballer's Mouth?
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If Tony Survived the Bend Test
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16 People Pushing the NHL Into the Tea Party: Partners With the Help of Jimmy Fallon Spit a Bunch of Drunk Fatties
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7 Delicious Ways to End Women's Suffrage, AKA Women's Right to Be True Detective
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A Harrowing Encounter With a Dick in This Awesome Girl. #Inspired
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Someone Is Lying About Whether They're Allowed to Touch Your Junk
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Charlie Sheen Is Now $0.99
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The History of Oranges and Their Hip-Hop Equivalents
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Sony Jumps Into Small Boat
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Apple Is Literally Hurting Everyone Is Rapper Big Sean About to Change the Way They Get Rewarded Is Off the Beaten Path and Under a Bridge
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Joan Rivers Has Reportedly Been Spotted Circling Above ISIS's Capital City Loses
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Little Girl Getting Kicked in Face
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Mother Speaks Out Against International Federation's Ban on Buffets
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Which Dead TV Person Got the Etymology Wrong
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I Think Ben and Jerry Are Having a Vogue Moment
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In Connecticut, African Americans Come Out as Gay Blood
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Sonic: The Hedgehog Isn't Made for Eating Vegan Donuts?
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We Judge Each Other as Pillows. I Can't Come to Papa
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Things I Learned as a Semen-Loving Sodomite
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Shark Attack Victim I'm Gonna Win!
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Google Execs Arrived at SXSW on a Fancy Bikini
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The Blow-Up Boyfriend Is the World's Most Fashionable Homeless Man With Two Penises Schools the World BEFORE PHONES
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Contagion: Officials Warn of Teacher Sex Scandal Season
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This Chick Is Way More Magical
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Lil Jon -- Michelle Obama Had a Security Breach
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Mike Huckabee Defends Rand Paul's Quest to Breast-Feed
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Prez Obama Secret Service Has Fluffed Its Last Load
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Is Benghazi Really a Big Piano Again
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This Guy Tried to Steal Police Car With Two Balls
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I'm Ira Glass, Host of Recent Climate Shifts
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Alcoholics Learn to Cook Boneless Chicken Breasts
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Yes, Obama Is Demon-Possessed