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Voted Headlines
796
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Guy Walks Into Pole, Immediately Becomes Livid That Poles Exist
251
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Company Sorry for Beheading Wrong Guy
237
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If You're Gonna Get Pregnant, Do It Alone
280
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Man Sets Himself on Fire With Fire
231
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Kate Middleton Giving Birth to Something, Hopefully a Person Who Just Won the Fucking Lottery
127
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NBC Accidentally Does Something Worthwhile
400
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I Can't Stop Giving Mass Murderers Their Own Theme Music
556
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The World's Oldest Woman Dies at Age 9
538
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I Can't Wait to Play With This Fucking Pencil
831
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America Should Be Illegal
232
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The History of Openly Masturbating in Restrooms
104
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Obama Cures Everyone's Wednesday With a $2 Laser Pointer
610
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Spider Webs Are Literally the Smallest Apartments You'll Ever See
582
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Online Dating: Horny Men Talking to Horny Men Talking to Horny Men Talking to Horny Men Pretending to Be Matt
175
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Supreme Court: Racism Is Pretty Damn Cute
605
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Oh No, He's Done It Again – Firearms Instructor Accidentally Shoots Girlfriend While Aiming at Ex-Girlfriend
330
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The Mushroom That's Only Poisonous if You're Gay
251
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Kanye West Explains Why Women "Want to Eat" Babies
251
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Man Sentenced to Sexy Teen Drama
421
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Pope Francis Comes Out as Gay
173
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Miraculously, Nobody Was Hurt by This 9-Year-Old
268
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*GRAPHIC* Disturbing, 78-Second Video Surfaces Claiming to Be One of Microsoft's Best E3 Conferences
223
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Nic Cage as Disney Princesses
109
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All Dogs Go to Prison
342
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Time to Recognize That All Drugs Are Expensive but Porn Isn't
454
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NASA Is Testing New Menu Items – and You Are Looking Delicious
507
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Kanye West Cancels Concerts Because of You
648
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Is There Even a Government
124
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Match.Com Acquires Online Dating Engine That Measures the Urine on Your Clothes
252
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In Defense of Selfies at Funerals
306
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Bears Have Figured Out How Mirrors Work, Uses One to Go Vegan, Has Chickpea-Induced Nervous Breakdown
134
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Wolf Blitzer Asks Atheist Tornado Survivor, Do You Have Cancer
707
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If You Give Kids Cigarettes, Superman Will @#$%Ing Murder You This Weekend
313
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U.S. Government Shut Down Mother Nature
543
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Nearly 70 Percent of Her Life Was an 80's Training Montage
892
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Dead Kids Have Never Been Happier to Code
208
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"Sesame Street" Shatters Little Girls Princess Dreams, Replaces Them With Polonium
229
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President Obama: Don't Drone Me Bro
149
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What's Going on in This Game, the Characters Have Penis Names
299
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How to Make Black Friends