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Voted Headlines
108
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Thanks Nordstrom, Really Needed New Demonic Creatures in My Car Stereo
156
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Great Movies, as Seen Through a Submarine Periscope
58
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New Theory: Universe Didn't Start With Deep Personal Monologues
237
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My Friend Clint Just Got Denied Planetary Status AGAIN
52
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This Kitten Barks Like a Child Molester
431
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The Other Day My Dog Decided to Start Talking About Dicks
6
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Rihanna Sues Topshop for Selling African Slaves
2
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Jesse Jackson Jr. Has to Reenact Family Guy's "Epic Chicken Fight"
199
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Obama Changes His Name to "Tyrannosaurus Rex"
253
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Federal Government to Sell Magic, Potions, Curses
3
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How to Seize a Moment Grumpily
7
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Germany, Not France, Delights in Fancy Hats
9
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Katy Perry Is Basically Wet Garbage Without an Afternoon Nap
4
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Japan Sends "Hello Kitty" to China Disaster
5
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Dog Breastfeeding Kitten Is... I Don't Know, Lemme Google It
4
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Woman Wearing She-Hulk Makeup Wanted for Murder
8
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U.S. To Reopen Case of the Mondays
94
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How to Argue With This Fucking Pencil
4
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From "Penis" to "Horse Salmon", Foreign Names Can Be Replaced
3
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Saturday Night Social: Céline Dion's Heart Goes on "Larry King Live"
5
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Justin Bieber's Infant Daughter Lives in a JFK Airport Storage Closet Ceiling Panel?
2
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This Yearbook Typo Is Only Okay When It's Done by Awesome Monkeys
2
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Darth Vader's Hometown Is Under Government Threat
2
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I Can't HEAR YOU OVER THE Plan B Debate Around the Corner
55
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Amazon Has Stopped Selling Digital Copies of Catherine Zeta-Jones
2
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Dude Passive-Agressively Makes Fun of Boring Life in Prison (Updated)
32
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Sigh: Female Doctors Earn $50,000 Less a Year After Their Triplets Die in a Hotel
2
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Holes in Saturn's Rings Could Reveal Outlaw's True Resting Place
97
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Mark Wahlberg Loses His Shit After Finding Cheese on His White Board
6
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Confession: I Don't Actually Write That Crap
2
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Oh, It's Just Plain Old Drama
2
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My Ten Favorite Kinds of Cancer — Human Testing Starts 2014
3
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Shut the Fuck Up Reporter Asks
5
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Turtles With Guns in American Society
136
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We Have Two Arms and Two Legs
9
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Man Says Something Sexist, Gets Put in A Mug
6
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"Weird Smell" Saves Man From Visiting His Partner
2
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Conservatives Can Learn From Magicians
2
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Minnie Mouse Is an Actual Menu Item
3
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Underwater Explorers Find Dozens of Black Confederate Soldiers